Psalm 18:29

"For by You I can run against a troop, 
by my God I can leap over a wall."

A sparkle

Years have passed and age have swelled. Still, some uncalled memories managed to cling on well with claws harmonized in unity and in refusal to budge.

Unwanted yet ignited; unbearable yet uncontrollable. 

My heart begin to feel again, and my mind begin to wander, indulging in my secret fantasies that should have been remotely rebuked under silent breaths, putting an hopeful end to the battle between my heart and mind which will most definitely continue through the next days, weeks and sporadic months. 

Undeniably, this unstoppable insanity and wave of emotional flood pours in deliberation, and I question why do the past so conveniently unveil itself as I sit in unease silence. With every passing minute, it peels off the layers and magnifies the loss and absence of his presence.

You - the dates that carry such significance and power.

Overflows

It's not the blood ties that salvages but the love of Christ that restores. 

白日梦里

搞笑的是当我发现自己在等一个自己希望却又不想它会实现的希望。

Thank You Jesus ♥

Things that I forget, You don't. 

Unspeakable Joy

Christ is enough ♥

Sunday

再看你多一眼, 我会说晚安。

Life in 10

I'm changing my books. I'm re-writing my history.

Power of Right Believing

Lie to Me

Dream - send me a sign

Turn back the clock

Give me some time

I need to break out

Make a new name

Let's open our eyes

To the brand new day

珍贵

口是心非

以为今天可以带着真的微笑度过, 我错了。甚至连假笑的力气都没拿出。
以为今天可以不掉泪地度过, 我错了。就在我说晚安之前, 又掉了。

思念

00:30

虽然辛苦, 但情绪算稳定下来了。

无力地过了这一天, 勇敢地过了这个星期。也许, 心中的感觉和脑里的理智还有点差异。因为它们不配合, 所以我还是无法散处掉半夜莫名的起身和突然的空荡。

明天又是一天, 也是上班的一天。满足我的睡眠吧。明天的笑容, 也许会是真实的。

提心吊胆

我头很痛。我想要哭。我只想哭。我不是很强的一个人。我是一个遇到伤心事时会想要哭的人。

默默

又过了一天, 但心里还是很难受。我不能做什么, 而就因为这样, 心里就是更不舒服。
一个一个, 一个一个的, 出现了每个不欢迎的突然。

我的心很累 。。很想哭 。。很想痛快地再大哭一场, 只是, 现在的泪水无法流出眼角 。

我真的很不舒服。出去见人, 正面的确露了牙齿, 笑了。但又有几次是真的微笑?

我用自己的方式来鼓励自己。

GRACE GRACE declared

Psalm 89:34
My covenant I will not break, nor alter the word that has gone out of My lips.

十一点

夜悉了, 太阳升了。

事情的经过仍然没变, 梦里的希望仍然在梦里实现。

时间不能到转, 但就算时间再次从来, 不见得一切会有所改变。 故事有了了断, 有了句号。突然地在一瞬间里, 一切都测测低低地结束了。

理想中的完美结局, 是真是假? 就连一个最平凡的生活都会吸引到不欢迎的突然。

突然的一个晚上, 突然的一个举动, 突然的一句话。
吓到了。我愣了。

唯一能找到的安慰是这也许对某人会是更好。

含着眼泪, 闭上双眼, 这样入睡 。。

破了，毁了，放开了

到底是用了什么样的心态来面对？从头到尾，从一开始，心 应该以被敲了几百遍，但还得装一幅没事的样子，继续默默地为某人付出。

你累了，心坏了，泪干了。

现在的路眼前虽然看不到，但我想相信，一切都会变好的。

My best friend

With hidden tears in her eyes, she braved the oppositions.
Mustering raindrops of positivity, she ignites the flame.

For you.
Climb on.

Defined beauty

And that is the power of Social Media.

I'll always be appalled by the quickness of some to ignite a topic, pointing fingers and commenting non-stop as if gossiping makes their lives more vibrant. Not that I don't gossip, but not to the extent some would go to.

Watch this video: Cystic Acne Coverage with make up

I caught the first glimpse on Facebook and a couple of others later who posted the same. It was nice to see those who gave her the thumbs up for her bravery but I came across a channel who reposted her video with the subject header as "Never trust girls with make up. You will regret if you are still alive (upon seeing their faces)".

I sympathize too. How many of us honestly, would want to step out of the house with this condition?

I daresay it's almost none. In today's society, beauty defines a person. Carrying a face that's avoided by the public shows that people are afraid of you. But let me tell you this - that individual is actually more afraid of the world.

Cosmetics, beauty enhancement supplements or whichever you name it.. Is it really that toxic that cause people to be so mean?  In fact, waking up everyday is a torture if your face doesn't heal with time. It hurts the soul and damages its roots.

Everybody wants to look good, but not everybody can. 

Everybody likes natural beauty, but not everybody has.

For you, I will.

Heard - in Your Name.

3 hearts given

Make it known.

Feet on ground

You may be higher in rank, but I have a voice too.

Written promises

Blessed Sunday morning! 

On the way to church and once again excited for today's message. Glad that I've somehow managed to climb out of the bed.. though it's 99% because if I let myself up at the second snooze,  my sis will flip me upside down for setting an alarm which I'm not waking up to.

Anyhow, it's gonna be a beautiful Sunday. Went out of the house with a pretty face, on the way to meet my pretty cousin, waiting to hear an all so abundant grace message. HYA!

Perspective. 

That's my morning reason to blog. 

I shan't undo my words last night but I shall do some correction paragraphs here. Truth is, my life isn't that bad. It's just too colourful (declaring the opposite).

It's not at all that doubtful considering how far I've walked the journey I've chosen. No doubt there are difficult times, the promises given will come fulfilled. Thankfulness comes in remembrance that I've got a dream job, a chance to finish my degree in shorter time frame, many more. I may have a what seems-to-be a horrible schedule that made me rant and over exaggerate my somewhat self pity plight,  but I know how blessed I am.

TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED!

Exams are coming, but I believe my ridiculous grades will turn into miracle stars. Watch. Year Two shall be cleared in Jesus's name!

AMEN AMEN.

Year One bridging results comes as my assurance.

Only human.

I've hit 0%

23:50hrs: I'm seated on the floor, phone blogging in my recovery state. 

I just got home from yet another weekend event, of which KM also bought a table for SDA gala dinner, celebrating their 75th anniversary. An "eventful" long day.. No.. Have been long full weeks. Seriously. Sickening March and April. Schedule so packed with work and school.. 7 days a week straight for more than a month. If I had not taken some leave in between, I would not have lasted till today.

Story short - After the gala dinner, I was so happy to hail a cab home that I may rest during the journey. Little did I realize that the long-waited rest was replaced with queasiness in the stomach. The journey home was so unbearable and I can throw up anytime in the cab. When I finally reached home, I threw up good.

I guess even my stomach can't stomach the accumulated fatigue >.< This period is like the sickening never-ending 400km round the stadium with depleted energy in its final round.

I've got back my results: 4 modules - 2 failed,  1 barely passed, 1 awaiting results. And so far, worst grade gotten is 20/100.

I need a miracle.

by Your Word, I stand

"I'll give my best. The rest is up to God to open the right doors and shut those which are not for me. No matter what results I get, whether I can clear the year or not, I'll leave it to Him."

To my best friend when I'm on the verge of giving up my studies. In fact, I surrendered 3 weeks back. But is this giving up or letting go? 

Faith speaks.

I am more than a conqueror in Christ. [Romans 8:37] I like to believe that just as He promised, He shall open the right doors that no one can shut, and shut doors no one can open. [Isaiah 22:22] Year of 2013 is going to be the best year yet. The fruits will be ever so sweet,  leaves ever so green, for I am like a tree planted by the rivers of water, which yields its fruits in its season. Whatever I do, prospers! [Psalms 1:3]

And all these is only because I know I am Your beloved child, and Your favor surrounds me as with a shield. [Psalms 5:12]


Amen ♥

To Cologne

Somehow I like the feeling of being at the airport.. The waiting time before your flight. Be it departure or arrival. I like them both.

When I wait for my departure, I have the excitement of what this trip, this new destination would offer. Of course, part of it (if it's for work), I'd *worry* about unexpected and negative things that may happen.

And when I've arrived back in my country,  the thought "I'm home!" never fails to appear. I love Singapore!

And now it's time for Cologne!

And I'm flying SIA! 

And the seat beside me is empty! *I think, still is..*
And it's winter still!! ♥

Pom poms

With friends like that, O' granny can run.

No problemo.

Granny transformed

What seemed onerous to me appears to be completely different to this man on a different axis.

If I am walking on a positive bar, then this is a sunshine man skipping in his journey to his ending point.

I am not reluctant to have an additional topping on my pancake; I like to enjoy the right proportion. While having a full stomach seems satisfying, gorging a whole lot and stretching your belly causes serious indigestion.

In essence, I’d help my short-handed team, yes – and so I planned, I calculated my days, I looked for flights to Cologne, Germany for an impromptu departure a week from today. Yes, I’ve always love to travel, for business and leisure. But it also depends on the load you dump on me.

I paused my study commitments, I catered for this travel - That’s because I didn’t expect an ice-cream topping to come: a perfectly tight schedule. 100% utility. 

I get his point, yes and I must add, it’s not this man’s bads. In fact, his capabilities is what led him to where he is today. He pushes himself and break out of his box to grow and elevate his being. But I am not you. We have different views and elasticity. I guess I should be thankful that my boss believes in my ability to run on spikes with him and pulling me to run the race at his speed. I agree that climbing higher mountains gives you greater record achievements and better stamina for future climbs. When to start if not now?

Abba, be my strength and patience.

And let the run begin.

Pour out the flood

And that's why I say .. I need the abundance of grace. Plenty isn't enough.

Dunked underneath would be best.

This is the day the LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it

Galatians 2:20

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

This sentence appeared in my head and was also said to us before our baptism yesterday,
16 Feb 2013.

Baptism day to many, is a day that you are born again, officially. Which is true, yes. But I'm not sure if I'm weird because as much as the excitement was building up, the ceremony was so quick, I haven't fully digested or even feel His presence before the baptism took place. And I even forgot to picture Heaven's doors opening to me when I came out of water! But in any case, it does not change the fact that I am under the open heaven, and as always, His beloved child. 

I gave myself the name Davine. Initially I submitted my name as it is but as I was talking to Pearle, she told me the meaning of having a new  name, a baptism name - leaving the old, living the new. And then we went on talking other stuff and the character David (from Bible) came up and a friend joked about naming me as David. 2013 is a year of the Key of David afterall. I was surrounded by David-ism.

With this fresh revelation, I went home excitedly and googled names I can find with specific meanings on beloved, grace, rest.. of course priority on DAVID-ism so let's try David and his variations. A list came up and they are all nice names. Feminine versions and the first that caught my eye was Davina. It is indeed unique. I liked the name. Excitedly texted Pearle but as I thought about it deeper, I can't put my face on this name.
BTW, Noah means rest and I love this name. I'll keep it for my son to come, heehee.

Pearle told me not to be hasty, but to be restful and ask God for wisdom. So I prayed for God to rain down a name while I went on ahead to search for others - took me basically the whole morning but nothing speaks as much as Davina. I thought, if there are no other names, just settle with Davina. I left it and studied. Till evening, it was taunting because I was so eager and excited to have a name pinned down. I continued the search. Somehow I was led back to variations of David. Oof! Just can't believe none of its variations stood out.

Davina is a nice name but too feminine that I seriously can't picture myself with it. So I asked God for a cool yet meaningful name that I can put my face to. Now, my eye stopped at Davine. *!GASPS!* I thought, WOAH, THIS IS MY NAME!

So that's how it came about. David means beloved. Davine is one of the variations. Funny how the name has been there all along but my eye was blinded. Praise God really. Immediately texted Pearle "This is it! My name!" :)

I give thanks for Pearle, I give thanks for my entire CG. When I told Pearle I signed up for baptism, she immediately said she's coming to support. Thing is, I've only met her for the third time that day. I was touched. It was sincere and she is really excited and happy for me. None of my family members came nor other friends. Pearle was the only one. But on the actual day, Sean popped out too. The true delight, it was priceless. 

To be honest, I thought it was just gonna be a day where straight after baptism, I'll head home to my books. I thought it's going to be mundane. I thought, I thought.. I question myself why I'm so down. Not to mention the day wasn't exactly smooth for me also. Even right up to the journey for my baptism. What a day.

BUT God knows how to turn things around. AH, my day was empty, no wonder He can fill it up to the brim!

We hung out and was funny to me how we all decided individually to order smoothie in a coffee place (LOL). Chilled a bit and joined for badminton with the rest of the CG thereafter. 

So grabbed dinner and changed out quick. 

Still doubtful on how much better the day may turn out to be, badminton was GREAT. We booked the whole 2 hours, entire 2 courts for ourselves and we can run or scoot around anyhow we like. It was FUN.

I haven't enjoyed myself like that at all since 2013 began. Paralysed by the ongoing stress and fatigue.. No wonder. 

In any case, I perspired SO MUCH,  LAUGHED SO MUCH, ENJOYED SO MUCH. The day was REALLY GREAT, you know?

All the stunts pulled, weird actions, humorous incidents, those were epic one of a kind moments. SO BLESSED to be part of this CG, with great friends. Not to forget when Julie heard I was baptised earlier in the day, she said "You could have told us! We will all go down to support you".

A simple sentence, a sincere thought, it warms the heart.

Thank you beloveds.
Thank you Abba.

Lifted

Best-friends-medicine.
Thank God for Bestie ♥

B

I've always doubted. And now I know -- you are not someone I can ever trust.

+1 New Watch

Isaiah 22:22

I will place on his shoulder the key to the house of David; 
what he opens no-one can shut, and what he shuts no-one can open.  

2013 - The year of open doors.

Walk on

I won't give in, I won't give up.
So you should. 

Psalm 18:16

I like this photo

Give me some air

I may be a long distance runner, 

But I need to catch my breath too.

True Warmth

And I open my doors wide.

2013, flaunt Your beauty