It was known

"Everything was going just fine, day by day. But one day when I woke up, it was different. It felt different.

I had a thought.

The next thing I knew, I've brought everything down."

Denial

Sometimes being in the dark isn't that much of a bad thing.

 

Whatever that's seen in the dark is simply what you think you saw, or hope to see.

Blur, but wanted.

Minutes of comfort

Private Moment

It's my time. I'm closing the door.

It's mine to share

因为如此，所以说话得小心。
虽然不是什么秘密， 但故事是我的。

Caught offguard

This will be the one time where you get to say: At least it's all fake

because if it's true, our words would be: If only it's fake

Precious ones.

Breathe

What an idiotic morning, nothing seems to be going my way. Every little things picked on me. Then comes the parent source of anger. What? All these happened within a short 20 minutes when my eyes greeted the Saturday morning? WTH.

I don't know what exactly you fill your mind with. Does a simple term used changes the happenings of a situation? 

See, it's because I understand where you're coming from and out of respect that I hold myself back from lashing out expletives at you. I'm giving way so why can't you do the same and take a step back?

Why am I always the one understanding things and when it's supposed to be the adults doing so? I see things from your persepctive, isn't it fair that you see from mine too? Don't shout at me and say that you have the final say. Don't stop my words and shut me off. You'll only have the final say when you make sense to me, damn it.

2011

Last year I didn't have a good new year's start, but this year I did. Definitely the best new year's day I've ever had so far, not that there's anything interesting in the past years since I don't do countdowns. But even if it's just another normal day instead of January 1st, it started off well.

Staying together under one roof doesn't mean you know everything that's going on. Stories - plenty of them. Whether or not to tell or dig, that's another thing.

I dug, you told. Likewise.

Twentieth

This year's 20th Birthday celebration is sure different -

First was the planned-out surprise my clique gave which I was totally unaware of. I enjoyed the evening because friends were there. Dinner was great too. Thousand thanks for showing up and your presents! I'll use them well.

Had lunch with my family today to celebrate in advance since all will be busy next week. Dad got me my Aino and a miracle hard disk. Yes!! And I chose a Mocha cake. Hahaha.

Went to library afterward to check out a new author - Kathryn Fox. Wonder if her series is nice. Hopefully it'll be. If so then maybe I'll pause my Prison Break and pick up reading again.

Extended family chalet is coming! I'll bathe myself in medical oil to ward off all evil mosquitoes and spice them to death before they poke their nose on me.

Shoo.

Together

One new story; one new heartbeat.

Words

No doubt the pay is good, but they don’t seem to understand – Money isn’t everything.

Was it because they knew they could easily psycho me with their words or things they offer that'll make me feel guilty if I just turn my back and walk away?

Your sweet words ..

I don't even know what I'm doing back there again. It should stop here. Don’t take people for granted. Sometimes it’ll be good if you could pause and think. Not everything has to go your way. We're your staff, think of our welfare once in a while. Don't you realize that everyone is fleeing? Perhaps we're all lucky that you got too busy, there isn't even a contract we need to break.

And, the way you twist your words are kind of scary.

Everyone knows your talent.

Perhaps

There's a possibility, there's always a possibility.

Just how big?

Character

 

There's no way we can understand everything that happens because if we do, there won't be any mysteries left to solve.

People's mind, people's heart, their actions and behaviors. Ask yourself why, but the only thing that seems logical is - the way we are brought up contributes to the way we behave.

Unwelcomed reignition

Our thread was broken; individual foot paths continued in its solemn emptiness.

There was no response, and there was no longer an effort or need to try make things work.

Your shadow is tied to the back of my head, yet with silhouette that appears ever so prominently at the tip of my eyes.

A war between pride and want, a battle with the heart and mind, a struggle that is not meant to be.

 

Don't appear.

It's a mind game.

Mood lift

Started youtubing more on Taylor Swift's songs because I heard one of hers in my playlist and it's really nice. Realized that she has a lot more songs written which I didn't know about, as always. Hur.

Went out with Bestie finally! After so long. Tonnes of misses. Have been friends for 16 years now. WOW. I miss my school days, filled with memories of all kinds, precious. Really happy that there are friendships which lasts; strong, firm friendships despite our busy schedules and lack of time to meet.

Friends are my gems on earth.

Will be meeting my precious clique tomorrow for picnic too, really looking forward to it.

It's girls' time!

This

Weird Monday.

Things went smoothly at work so far, considering the fact that I managed to cross the huge rocks that fell onto my path since the first hours of this day.

Ironically, despite the few hours of sleep I've had last night, I'm amazingly more perked up today compared to yesterday where I get to enjoy a full clock of sleep totalling up to 8+ hours.

Oh well. That's good news I guess. Will be forgoing some hours again today; tomorrow will be a bonus.

Anticipation

Looking forward to things isnt always good - it depends on what you are looking forward to. In my case, waiting for September 30th to come is honestly a torture.

You have no idea how badly I want that day to come, yet as I count down each day, I ended up ruining the joy of living in the hours of this month. And I grew even more tired and restless, or at least, that was what I've managed to figure out - the cause of my fatigue.

It's not physical; it's mental.

September

This shall officially be my last month in Dragonfly.Have been waiting for this day but at least completing 6 months here looks better on resume.

The next will be better.

Was that a goodbye?

Mister, you have proved your significance, you have left your mark in me. 

Your presence is felt in all places my foot has stepped, and amongst all activities of my hands. I remember the hours with which we clung on to, the aftertaste that could not be removed. 

Holding on with a hint of reluctance, moving on with a tittle of unpleasantness. 

There was no signs of communication. 

Your presence still lingers.

Unspoken

There's a limit to how much a person can accept another's selfishness,but there's not much you can complain because we are  all the same.

And though you feel that the way you treat others are good,

there are times where you play the role of a baddie too.

So understanding that point,

you flare and show your unhappiness,

for you are angry not just because you were treated this way, but that there are times where you act the same way as this baddie does.

Peace

Woke up early in the morning at 6.45am on a finally-non-working-Sunday.

My body is already like an auto alarm clock.

Got up and read a book on Brains I've borrowed. Interesting Bio stuff.

Then .. out to market with Mum and yoohoo went to get a haircut though it turned out pretty bad - it's the fringe's doing. But it's only $5. Hmm. At least my head feels a little lighter now. Had fun walking in a market though it's honestly a wrong place to begin with.

Mood did become better anyway - have been feeling grumpy and moodless.

It's mother's love.